Gotta recommit

Back on the wagon. I was full speed ahead until my show in the first week of April. I had a gain, which messed with my head. I took it off and then some by the beginning of May, then put it back on, and this week I had an even maintain. Same 3 pounds just coming and going and coming and going.

I really don't know where it went wrong this week. I tracked, I ate few processed foods, I drank a ton of water.

But, I guess that doesn't really matter now. It's over and done with. On to a new week.

I'm in two days already and they've gone relatively well. I'm really proud of today. I went out and ran, which I haven't done since before I got pregnant with Alexander. Honestly, it was probably November of 2011. I ran for 3 minutes, then 5, then 3 again, then 5. Huge accomplishment for me. I kept telling myself I could do it, see myself doing it, etc.

I'm just tired of this. I miss my little pre-baby body. I was slim and athletic. Now, I feel like Jabba the Hut. And I'm 20 pounds in to the 50 I want to lose! I hate how clothes look on me, that I look down and see a giant flabby tummy, a big bulbous ass, huge thighs.

This isn't me. This is SO not me. I'm the little athlete.

So, we chip away at the mountain and remember the Whys.

Why:
To be tight
To be comfortable in my clothes
To be confident at work
To feel like I'm deserving
So I want to have my picture taken with my kids
So I don't feel shame anymore
So I can keep up with my kids
To be a non-neurotic wife to my husband

Onward and downward....